"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my Savior." ~(Habakkuk 3:17-18)~
Like many of you, I am sure, I have utilized the Timehop app to remind me of pictures I have taken, posts I have made on Facebook, and memories I might not think of on any given day unless I'm prompted to do so. I like Timehop. It's important to look forward, but sometimes it is very good to look back to see where we've been, too. Four years ago today, this was my verse of the day. I remember (because Timehop reminded me) that I actually said "Sometimes life throws disappointments our way, one...right...after...the...other. BUT...", followed by the verse above.
I'm so glad that life is full of "BUT"s aren't you? Because when you think about it, it would be really easy to get bogged down in all of the things that we deem disappointing...you know, the stressors in our lives that threaten to steal our joy (like loss of a job, death of a family member or friend, and diseases that are so unpredictable that they hit us out of nowhere, stripping us of the very strength, health and dignity that make life bearable). BUT...we can choose to be joyful regardless of our circumstances, and we can learn from our experiences and choose to let them make us better and stronger, and more compassionate, happy, and hopeful people.
So I've been thinking about this idea of looking back all morning, and honestly, I have to say that it is not a bad thing to step back a bit and regroup. We don't always have to keep pushing forward. In fact, I believe that doing so can be detrimental to our health. It seems we are always pushing, pushing, pushing through...whether we feel like it or not...sometimes to the point of collapse. I remember one time when I spent an entire month in a rehab hospital due to a severe Lupus flare resulting in Lupus Myositis. I had been pretty much bedridden for about a year, and literally had to relearn to walk all over again. Once I got on my feet, one of the exercises my therapist had me do was to hold a beach ball and walk backwards. Sounds easy, right? Well, it isn't. Not easy at all, in fact. At first, I found it to be an almost impossible task. I became dizzy, nauseated and disoriented, my muscles confused about how to go about doing what I was asking of them. I broke out in a cold sweat. I didn't want to walk backwards! Why should I? Why not just keep going forward, where I could see where I was going? But the therapist explained to me that unless I retrained my muscles to know what to do automatically (including stepping back), I wouldn't be where I needed to be in order to live as normal a life as possible. And the ball? Well, eventually it would help with balance, she told me. Ah...we take so many things for granted, don't we? So I worked hard, and persevered through the cold sweats, the nausea and the dizziness, and eventually I had no problems walking backward. As part of my therapy, I even started taking dance lessons and little by little, I got stronger. For several years I was able to dance to my heart's content. I learned a life lesson through all of that: sometimes you just have to step back. Take stock of where you are, what is important to you, and where to go from here. And the beach ball played a huge part in that learning experience...another life lesson about the importance of living a balanced life.
Of course, even when we seem to be doing everything right...following doctor's recommendations, getting rest, avoiding crowds during flu season, etc...things don't always go our way. Diseases like Lupus, Myasthenia Gravis, Common Variable Immune Deficiency, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Diabetes, Ehlers-Danlos, Celiac Disease, Asthma and many others have no timeline of convenience, and flare when you least expect it. As you can see by the picture here, I went from having a pretty good day (upper left) to presentation of my Lupus rash (lower right) and the joint pain and generalized malaise that goes with that, increased weakness (lower left) and severe generalized weakness as evidenced in my face (upper right), so weak I looked like I had a stroke on the right side of my face, couldn't open my eye or lift my head from the pillow...all within a few days time. I am feeling better now, but the truth is, even if you are in remission today, there is no promise of that tomorrow. So we take each day as it comes and make the very best of it, knowing that we can take whatever tomorrow brings because we are fierce fighters...WARRIORS...with inner strength, honed by adversity, refined by fire.
Above all, don't let disappointments get you down. They are an inevitable part of life and the character building process. Choosing to be joyful in spite of disappointment is not always easy, but there is always a reward, and it comes in the form of peace. Hope is a choice. Joy is a choice. And no matter what comes my way, today I choose both.
My name is Kathie Lea Bradfield, and I have Common Variable Immune Deficiency, Systemic Lupus, Myasthenia Gravis, Chronic Pancreatitis, Ehler's-Danlos, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Dupuytren's Disease, Combined/Mixed Obstructive and Restrictive Lung Disease and other autoimmune conditions. I am fighting for awareness, for a cure, for a better quality of life. My journey starts with abiding faith, determination, and choosing to hold tight to HOPE. I am an Autoimmune Warrior!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Featured Post
"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go" ~Genesis 28:15a~ Several weeks ago, I attended an event for ladies at my c...
-
"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; To make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength" ~Criss Jami~ ...
-
June is a special month for my husband and me, and as has been my custom for the last couple of years, I would like to honor him by post...
-
I love to write. In fact, my entries in this blog are always cathartic for me, and hopefully, shed some light into the world of chronic il...
-
One month's worth of IVIG solution and infusion supplies at a billing cost of $42,000 per month Recently, I saw a new neurologist,...
-
I’ve debated within myself as to the value of sharing this story, but finally decided that I would because it just might be helpful to s...
-
Intravenous Immunoglobulin A Life-long Treatment Today is 2/28/2017, Rare Disease Awareness Day. I have 3 diseases...
-
As we close out Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month, I find myself regretting my failure to really promote education about this difficult di...
-
The past month has been a busy one for me, with visits to several doctors multiple times. It has been exhausting and perplexing, painful and...
-
For all the Lupus Warriors who are fighting each and every day: I see your struggle…I know what you are going through! I am kee...
-
"I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summ...