'Friendship' and 'Family' are Action Words

Friendship is a comforting smile, a familiar voice
that warms the heart, and the freedom to be
the person God intended. ~Unknown~

We were driving to a doctor's appointment and passed a church with a sign out front--you know, one of those marquis-type things that display different quotes every few days. This sign said, "If you want to have friends, you must first BE one". I suppose the thought behind this was taken from the scripture found in Proverbs 18--"A man that hath friends must show himself friendly" (vs 24). I remember learning that verse as a child, and have truly taken it to heart throughout my life, doing my best to be a good friend. While my body has not cooperated due to many years of chronic illness, I still have tried to reach out, send cards, make calls, pray, and above all, love others. But somewhere along the way, I find that life has passed me by, and I spend many, many lonely days at home, unable to drive, without a word from anyone. Perhaps my illness is too difficult for many to deal with; after all, pain and weakness makes us all come face to face with our own mortality. We want to think we are invincible, but when we see someone who reflects the reality of our destructible flesh, we become uncomfortable. Or, on a more positive note, perhaps people really care, but are afraid to bother me or tire me out by calling or visiting. Regardless of the reason, I still grapple with the sadness and sense of isolation that this situation brings. And I know, because of my involvement with online support groups, that I am not alone in feeling this way.

I believe we were created to have fellowship, both with God, and with one another. My relationship with God is just that...a relationship. I know He loves me and that He cares for my every need, even those that are seemingly inconsequential to anyone else but me; because if it matters to me, it matters to Him. He has proven Himself faithful repeatedly in that regard, and I am continually blessed by His love, grace and mercy. In the same light, He knows my heart and even though He knows what I am going to say even before I speak, I talk with Him daily. Likewise, we also need relationships with one another. It is how we were designed. The Bible tells us in Genesis 2 that God saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone. So it cannot possibly be healthy to spend day after day with no contact or fellowship with anyone. If we really get down to the truth of the matter, we find that many of us who have rare and incurable diseases are often left feeling isolated and abandoned. People are dying alone and forgotten, and that is heartbreaking to me.

Every now and then, I see people organizing fund raisers for people who have been diagnosed with cancer and other serious, more well-known illnesses than Myasthenia Gravis or Lupus, gathering communities together to help with medical expenses, and I am happy for those who receive such blessings. But time after time I read about the plight of people with my diseases who are left in financial ruin with no one to rush to their aid...no bake sales, garage sales, or any other fund raisers on their behalf, in spite of the fact that their medical expenses are astronomical...even catastrophic. And beyond the financial scope of their situations, they feel abandoned by their friends, and even worse, by family. Is it because there is little awareness of our conditions? Is it because the literature that is out there is outdated and gives a false idea of the seriousness of our diseases? Or perhaps it is because we are all bone-weary of having to deal with it, so we don't. To tell you the truth, I am, quite frankly, baffled. To the depths of my soul, I ache over it.

Do you have a friend or family member that is struggling today? Do you have a moment to write them a note and drop it in the mail? Or perhaps you can offer to stop by and give them a much needed visit, even a hug or two. Scientific evidence proves that human beings thrive on meaningful touch, and health declines when touch is withheld. I read a quote recently, attributed to Heather Pryor (a minister's wife, mom of 3 and author of "Purer in Heart"), that I think is appropriate here..."A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart." So hug someone today. Tell them you love them. Tomorrow may be too late.

"A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal." 
~ Steve Maraboli~