Validation, Support and Sweet Encouragement

"Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God my Father
 Morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!"

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." (Ephesians 2:10)

We made our trip to Houston to see my neurologist this week, and while I will admit that I was very weak when I saw her, I am still encouraged because I believe that the treatment plan we have chosen is what is best for me. Am I exactly where I want to be in my journey with autoimmune disease? No. I could well do without the very long and ever increasing list of things wrong with me that make treatment complicated and difficult. That being said, I still choose to hold tight to my faith and do my best to maintain a positive attitude. After all, God has proven Himself faithful with mercies fresh and new every morning. HOPE springs anew in my heart, and I am refreshed.

I can no longer drive more than a few blocks, and since I am mostly home bound, with a few exceptions, I wanted to do something worthwhile with my down time. So a while back, I became a member of a few online support groups, hoping to reach out, to help someone, to make a difference. These groups are aptly named "support groups", as the whole purpose is to support, encourage, even to be a champion for one another so that difficult and painful days are not quite so...well... difficult and painful. Every day I read posts on the message boards, heartfelt words written by the chronically ill...words which cry out to, and often pierce, my heart. Some are uplifting, inspiring and funny, and others are evidence of pain, brokenness, sadness and loneliness. But the most difficult messages for me to deal with are those that display a sense of hopelessness and absence of self-worth. It is amazing how fragile we are when it comes to our own ideas about our personal value. I see it all the time: "My friends have all left me because I'm always sick" or "My family thinks I'm crazy", and even "Nobody 'gets it' and I'm out here alone with no one to care...why doesn't anyone care?". I shared some of this with my husband because he is so incredibly supportive of me, and his response was, "What do you all expect from people? I mean, what is it you want?" I was surprised by his question, then realized that it was born of a sincere desire to know. What really IS at the heart of a constant need to feel recognized by those around us, to have illness acknowledged rather than brushed aside as if it doesn't exist? I think it is a cry for validation. Many people with chronic illness have faced lengthy, painful and frightening periods of months...even years...before finally receiving a diagnosis, and more often than not, were misdiagnosed with depression or labeled a hypochondriac.

While I am not one to want to make my illness my identity, I do understand the need for validation...validation that I'm not crazy, nor a "collector of disease names"; nor is depression, while certainly understandable when one is constantly in pain and can never make plans with friends or family due to the ever changing nature of chronic disease processes, the main source of my problems. I don't think there is anything wrong with validation. That being said, I do not believe that my significance (nor that of anyone, ill or otherwise) lies in whether or not I am healthy, or can dance, or sing, or reciprocate a kindness for that matter. I am significant because I am me. Created to be much more than a walking disease, the Bible says I am a masterpiece, and I believe it. I am not one to hide my faith, and it is because of my faith and HOPE in a God who loves me that I can be strong in the midst of weakness, and joyful in the face of bewilderment and pain. An important element of that strength and fight comes from the support of friends, family, and others who know and understand.

"Two are better than one...for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow..." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Many years ago, when my dear friend and heart sister and I were young mothers going through the bittersweet pangs of raising our children, we made a vow that no matter what was happening or where we happened to live, we would always support one another in prayers. Just as Moses had Aaron and Hur by his side during the battle of Amalek to hold his arms up when he was too fatigued to do it himself, we promised to do the same for one another. The Bible says that during the battle, as long as Moses' arms were lifted, the Israelites were victorious. (You can read this wonderful story of victory in Exodus 17:8-13.) Through the years--when we faced battles fought on a spiritual level, trying times during our kids' teen years, the stresses and strains of marriage (even the demise of my own marriage and starting a new life with my current husband), and the fight for health--we have kept our promise to one another. And God has proven Himself faithful through it all, strengthening our faith, our hope, and our friendship. The picture you see here is one of a sculpture that this dear friend sent me for my birthday a couple of years ago. It is a beautiful depiction of what support truly is, with one...weak, melted and poured out, scarcely able to stand...the other, standing in loving support, lifting her friend's face to bask in the merciful, healing and victorious light of our loving Heavenly Father. Each time I lift this beautiful depiction of a friendship rooted in faith and bathed in prayer close to my heart, I breathe a prayer of thanks for God's gentle reminder that He is with me always.

God bless you, I love you...

Kathie Lea