"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go" ~Genesis 28:15a~

Several weeks ago, I attended an event for ladies at my church, and God graciously, mercifully and lovingly met me there. Through the study and following activity, He spoke clearly to my heart, instructing me to write down the testimony of His teaching and create a blog entry. I admit that I am disappointed in the fact that I put off the writing of this entry until now, as the sharpness and clarity with which I saw His message to me on that day has become less sharp or clear--even out of focus entirely, with fogginess around the edges--and my delay in obedience shows. As a friend of mine so wisely said recently, "Delayed obedience is, in fact, disobedience." Simple, painful truth, to be sure.

That being said, I do want to attempt to share the things God revealed to me on that day. We were instructed to write the letters P E A C E on a sheet of paper and use each letter to describe our life's journey through Christ to our own personal place of peace in Him. As I thought about my life, these words came to mind: Pain, Encouragement, Alive, Commitment, Endurance. PEACE.  As I wrote feverishly, I ran out of time and much of what I had written down was in abbreviated form--hence my inability today to bring it into focus properly, the consequence of delayed obedience...in truth, disobedience. I pray that as I write this, the story of my pathway to PEACE in Christ is illuminated and God's wonderful grace and glory will be magnified.

PAIN--we can all say we've experienced it, right? Some of us more than others, but pain has hit us all, nonetheless. My life, beginning with childhood, has been rife with pain. From molestation at a young age by an extended family member we thought we could trust, to difficulty in school due to abusive behavior by multiple teachers, to struggling with illness all along the way, I was ultimately shaped by life's circumstances into a shy, insecure young teen with no self confidence, little self esteem and plenty of self loathing. 

Which brings me to the next word on my page, ENCOURAGEMENT. Oh, dear ones, never underestimate the power of your love, or a hug, or the impact your encouragement has on the life of a child, the depressed, or the ill. Sometimes your love for the one who feels altogether unlovely and unloveable can heal even the most broken of hearts! I thank God for the families who took me under their wings, opened their doors to me, and loved me unconditionally. 

ALIVE--yes, I am alive! I will never forget the day at the age of 15 when I surrendered my life to God through faith in Jesus Christ--the day my heart truly started beating with joy, and God gave me a song to sing! My spirit was dead, but was now alive; my lips, which were silent for so long, burst open in singing. I had no idea then that I would face physical death over and over throughout the years ahead, nor did I ever dream that God would rescue me repeatedly as He worked to complete His purpose in me and my family...but He did! And I am alive today to sing His praises!

COMMITMENT--When I gave my heart to Christ, I committed my everything to Him...my talents, my children and family to come, my home. I remember when my youngest daughter Aimee was about 8 years old, we found a growth on her thigh. After having it scanned, we discovered it was a bone tumor of some kind, but until it was biopsied, we wouldn't know whether or not it was malignant. Cancer, I am sure, strikes fear in the heart of most, but definitely in that of a parent as it relates to one of their children. I remember clearly the conversation I had with God shortly before the surgery she went through to have the tumor removed. Believing it was probably cancer, I sobbed before my Heavenly Father, demanding to know how He could possibly expect us to walk this path. Why would He give me two beautiful daughters only to take one from me? Though not audible, I distinctly heard God's voice speaking directly and quietly to my heart, telling me to be still and listen. As His child, I instinctively knew His voice and our conversation was something like this: "Didn't you dedicate this child to me when she was born?", He asked. "Yes, Lord--that's true." "And didn't you teach her about me and lead her to a relationship with me through faith?" "Yes, Lord, that is also true, You know it is!" "My beloved child", He said, "Don't you know by now that she's not yours? She is Mine. I loaned her to you so you could teach her my ways and through her life, glorify my name. You have done that. She. Is. Mine. Trust me." Suddenly, my tears stopped flowing, and peace flooded my soul. As it turned out, the tumor, which was quite large, was removed from the bone, biopsied, and found to be benign. And just as I prayed she would, Aimee has grown into a godly young woman who is bringing up her own children in the ways of the Lord, bringing glory to the name of God. Commitment. It's hard, but He has proven His promises are all true: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans." (Proverbs 16:3) I know parents of children whose stories didn't turn out like mine, their hearts broken by loss. But the bottom line is this--God is faithful and true, and He will turn ashes to beauty, mourning to joy, and bring good from tragedy. He wants us to commit everything to Him, leave it all in His hands, and trust Him to complete His work in us. He loves us, and He is GOOD. "Blessed be God Who has not turned away my prayer nor His lovingkindness toward me." ~Psalm 66:20~

ENDURANCE--Ahh, this is the word that means the most to me, but the one for which my own vocabulary and ability to express myself fail me. So I will turn to the One Whose Word never fails and let Him speak for me. James 1:2-4 tells us to "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." In Isaiah 48:10, we find these words: "Behold I have refined thee but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." And I find tremendous encouragement with this scripture found in Job 23:10, "But He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold." 

God bless you, I love you...

Kathie Lea

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to tread on the heights." ~Habakkuk 3:17-19~

P E A C E