The Dream...

"For God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it.
He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night,
when deep sleep falls upon people as they lie in their beds."
(Job 33:14-15)

Last night I had the strangest dream, one I will probably not forget any time soon - a dream just as haunting and real upon awakening as it was at the dreaming of it. Because of its intensity, I am writing about it now...praying earnestly, questioning and seeking answers. Do dreams have a physical basis, are we sorting out mental stresses, a little of both, or nothing at all? Needless to say, this affected me enough to want to share with you!

In my dream, I was lying in bed, my entire body completely overcome by the pulling, to and fro, of what I can only describe as heavy weights. I was scarcely able to move, and felt as if I were drowning beneath wave after wave of unrelenting, crushing water. The phone rang, and somehow, though I was practically paralyzed, I found myself hearing the voice of a friend of mine who demanded to know how I could have possibly forgotten her birthday and when I was going to host a party on her behalf! Knowing she felt rebuffed, I tried desperately to speak, to make my voice heard, to rise above the agony of the crushing weight pinning me down, to encourage her and assure her that I did, indeed, care. I remember struggling to will myself out of the bed, with the task of arranging for her birthday celebration foremost in my mind. After all, I had allowed her birthday to come and go without acknowledgment, and I was dismayed.

Suddenly, all manner of people...many of whom I did not know or recognize...began walking through the doors of my home. They were laughing, talking, enjoying themselves at a table full of finger foods, drinks and desserts. With great effort, even crawling on my hands and knees through what felt like quick sand, I finally made my way into the main room, and happened to see a friend of mine I have known since early childhood. She took me by the hand, and as we made our way through the throngs of people who paid no attention to anything outside the food and drink, she led me back to my bed. As I passed by a mirror hanging on the wall in the hallway, I saw my reflection, which so startled me, I began to cry. I looked like death...gaunt, pale, with dark, sunken orbs where once my eyes full of light, life and love had been. All the while, my friend led me on, encouraging me, speaking positive words over me, telling me God has not completed His work in me; she told me to rest, despite what others think of or expect of me. I awoke suddenly, feeling weighted down as in my dream, exhausted and weak.

So now I am wondering what I am to learn from this experience? Anything? Nothing? Does God still speak in dreams or am I subconsciously trying to reconcile myself to the limitations I face on a daily basis? Or could it be that in my sleep, which is often fragmented by weakness in my respiratory muscles due to Myasthenia Gravis, my loving God once again breathed life anew, assuring me through my dream that though I am weak, He is strong and will continue to work in me until that work is complete? I don't know, but I am grateful for the experience (as unsettling as it was), and I cry out as did the prophet of old, when called upon by God..."Here am I, Lord!"

God bless you, I love you...
Kathie Lea